Suicide Prevention Awareness Month: Why Helpers Need to Resist Black-and-White Thinking
If you work in a helping profession—maybe you’re a therapist for burnout, a teacher, a lawyer, or a nurse—you’ve likely caught yourself swinging between extremes:
“I saved the day.”
“Nothing I do matters.”
This isn’t just moodiness. It’s how the brain reacts under stress. When we’re overwhelmed, our nervous system craves certainty. It’s easier to declare something “all good” or “all bad” than sit in the messy middle.
But here’s the cost: that kind of black-and-white thinking fuels burnout, strains relationships, and clouds decision-making.
Signs you’re slipping into extremes
Black-and-white thinking can creep in quietly. It often sounds like:
“If this client doesn’t improve, I’ve failed as a therapist.”
“This student always acts out and/or is just being dramatic; they’ll never change.”
“The system is completely broken—nothing I do makes a difference.”
When this pattern takes hold, creativity shuts down, resilience drains, and helpers risk missing important warning signs.
Why this matters now
September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month—a reminder of what’s at stake when we default to extremes.
Think about a student in crisis. In an all-or-nothing mindset, it’s tempting to label them as “just seeking attention.” But what if that behavior is actually a signal—an invitation to notice, to pause, to intervene?
If we don’t check ourselves, we risk overlooking someone who desperately needs connection. Balance isn’t just for our own emotional regulation—it can literally save lives.
And as helpers (and humans) we get to ask for help too. If we can’t find the gray it may be time to tap out and ask for someone else to step in. I cannot stress how important this is.
The reset: how to step back into balance
Next time you catch your mind going to extremes, try this quick question:
👉 “If this isn’t all-or-nothing, what else might be true?”
That one shift helps the brain widen its lens. Suddenly, the “impossible student” might just be having a bad week. The system isn’t perfect, but cracks of progress exist. You’re not failing—you’re in process.
Practical mental health tips for helpers
Here are some mental health tips you can use right away to build resilience:
Name it to tame it. When you hear “always” or “never” in your self-talk, recognize it as black-and-white thinking. It’s time to step back.
Ground in the present. Place your feet on the ground, breathe deeply (and slowly), and anchor your body. Engage your senses and therefore become deeply curious about your environment. Stress shifts faster when the body feels safe NOW, and when my vision expands to take in my surroundings.
Find the gray. Ask: “What am I not considering?” or “What else could be true here?”
These simple tools aren’t just self-care. They help us stay regulated enough to notice what matters most.
The bottom line
All-or-nothing thinking is exhausting. Balance, on the other hand, is resilience.
Helpers don’t just need encouragement; we need practical strategies to manage burnout and stay steady—for ourselves and the people who depend on us.
Remember that balance lives in the gray. And in that space, lives can be changed.
If You or Someone You Know Is Struggling
You are not alone, and help is available 24/7.
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — Call or text 988, or chat here.
Crisis Text Line — Text HELLO to 741741 to connect with a trained counselor.
The Trevor Project (LGBTQ+ Youth) — Call 1-866-488-7386, text START to 678678, or chat here.
Veterans Crisis Line — Call 988 and press 1, or text 838255.
AFSP (American Foundation for Suicide Prevention) — Resources and support at afsp.org.
NAMI HelpLine — Call 1-800-950-6264 or text HELPLINE to 62640.
If you’re in crisis, please reach out. Your life matters.